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Every King in ‘The Return of the King’, Ranked

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Every King in ‘The Return of the King’, Ranked

There are a lot of kings in The Return of the King, to say the least. Whether good or evil, in Mordor or Rohan, the kings and leaders of the various peoples of Middle-earth play a defining role in the major clashes of the story. The central quest of the trilogy is all about the difference that even the smallest and most insignificant of people can make on the world, but while the quest of Frodo and Sam takes center stage, their mission to destroy the Ring is made possible by the clash of kings and armies taking place elsewhere. The impact of these kings in the story shifts the balance of forces time and time again, due to their charisma, foresight, and skill in battle. But with all of these considerations, who is the best king?

RELATED: From Sauron to Eowyn: The Most Powerful Characters of ‘The Lord of the Rings’ Ranked

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6. Denethor

I know, I know. “But Denethor isn’t a king,” you say. And you are right. That is, of course, part of the point. Denethor is a steward of Gondor who clearly is threatened by the rise of a claimant to the throne and the rival he sees in Aragorn. But as the man in charge of the greatest and most historically significant kingdom of men left in Middle-earth, Denethor is essentially a king in everything but name.

That having been said, as a “king,” he definitely rounds out the bottom of the list. While he is a far more competent character in the books, Denethor in the films is an almost comically bad leader. He sends his only surviving son on a suicide mission to retake a city lost to the enemy, he fails to adequately prepare for battle or send messages to allies for aid, he tells the defenders of the city to run for their lives, he tries to burn his son alive, and his only passion in life seems to be to eat tomatoes in the most disgusting way possible.

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5. The King of the Dead

The King of the Dead is in a strange place when it comes to his quality as a king, and not only because he’s, you know, dead. As a man who swore an oath to support King Isildur in the War of the Last Alliance, he brought a curse down upon himself and his people when he backed out of the oath and was banished to a twilight existence, condemned to eternal restlessness.

The reason he lands above Denethor, however, is that he at least takes advantage of the opportunity to redeem himself and his people. He is given a second chance to redeem his honor and fulfill his oath by coming to the aid of Aragorn in his hour of need, and so finally escapes his curse and goes to his rest.

4. The Witch-King of Angmar

As kings go, the Witch-King of Angmar is one of the most imposing characters in the trilogy but reaches his most terrifying form in The Return of the King. Endowed with new powers from Sauron, he leads a seemingly unstoppable army that washes over the defenders at Osgiliath and smashes down the mighty gates of Minas Tirith itself. He even takes on Gandalf in an extended scene and comes off on the better side of that fight as well.

Of course, he is not ultimately successful, and so doesn’t land as high on this list as he might have otherwise. His army is ultimately overwhelmed at Minas Tirith despite their massive numerical superiority, and his kingship is limited in that his rule is entirely overshadowed by that of Sauron. He is the Dark Lord’s most deadly and powerful servant, but is still ultimately a servant.

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3. Theoden

Theoden is a fascinating character in The Return of the King, and not only because he got to spearhead the most amazing chivalric charge in the history of cinema. The movie begins with a stinging insult from Saruman saying that Theoden does not match up to the great kings of old, and Theoden clearly worries that this might be the case after all. His son has died, his greatest victory belongs to another man, and his people are slowly falling into ruin.

But despite all of this, Theoden shows grit, determination, charisma, and strength of character that drives him and his army to the brink of the greatest battle of the Third Age. Even with inferior numbers against the overwhelming odds of the armies of Mordor led by the Witch-King, Theoden leads his people in a mighty charge that nearly wins the battle all on its own. It may have been foolhardy to lead his army into such a desperate battle, but it is impossible to watch the charge of the Rohirrim and still say that Theoden is not a great leader.

2. Sauron

“But Sauron’s evil!” I hear you say. Yes, something about being a “Dark Lord on his Dark Throne in the land of Mordor where the shadows lie” does not seem like the sunniest job description. Nonetheless, you can’t terrorize all of Middle-earth for several thousand years without being somewhat effective at what you do. He came close to conquering all of Middle-earth multiple times, and his power and terror were unsurpassed by any other king in the story.

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Despite all of these advantages, however, just like the Witch-King, Sauron ultimately fails and cannot overcome the courage, integrity, friendship, and hope of those who stand against him. While he is one of the most powerful beings in existence, his lust for power and desire for control ultimately become his undoing as the Ring he made to conquer the free world ultimately destroys him.

1. Aragorn

Who else could it be but Aragorn? He is the long-lost is heir to Gondor and has a kingly lineage stretching back for thousands of years into the mythic past of Middle-earth. He is almost a mythic figure himself, bringing hope to desperate allies and calling upon the ancient spirits of the dead to rally to his banner and fight for his cause. His coronation marks the pinnacle of the story, and it is after him that The Return of the King is named, after all. He is fierce against his enemies and gracious to his friends, transitions from battle-hardened warrior to king of a new age of peace, and rules a prosperous realm justly for 122 years. Not bad for a scruffy-looking ranger.

Moreover, what puts Aragorn over the top is the way that he completes the themes of kingship within the movie itself. What ultimately separates the good kings from the wicked ones is not their authority or their power, but their motivation and actions. The reason that Theoden charged at Minas Tirith against overwhelming odds is the same reason that Aragorn took to the Paths of the Dead in the face of certain doom and charged at the massed armies at the Black Gate. While the forces of evil relied on overwhelming power and might, and Denethor gave in to despair, the kings of the story with the strongest fortitude were those who held on to hope in doing what was right. Of those, Aragorn was certainly the greatest.

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Review: SAMARITAN, A Sly Stallone Superhero Stumble

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Review: SAMARITAN, A Sly Stallone Superhero Stumble

Hitting the three-quarter-century mark usually means a retirement home, a nursing facility, or if you’re lucky to be blessed with relatively good health and savings to match, living in a gated community in Arizona or Florida.

For Sylvester Stallone, however, it means something else entirely: starring in the first superhero-centered film of his decades-long career in the much-delayed Samaritan. Unfortunately for Stallone and the audience on the other side of the screen, the derivative, turgid, forgettable results won’t get mentioned in a career retrospective, let alone among the ever-expanding list of must-see entries in a genre already well past its peak.

For Stallone, however, it’s better late than never when it involves the superhero genre. Maybe in getting a taste of the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) with his walk-on role in the Guardians of the Galaxy sequel several years ago, Stallone thought anything Marvel can do, I can do even better (or just as good in the nebulous definition of the word).

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The property Stallone and his team found for him, Samaritan, a little-known graphic novel released by a small, almost negligible, publisher, certainly takes advantage of Stallone’s brute-force physicality and his often underrated talent for near-monosyllabic brooding (e.g., the Rambo series), but too often gives him to little do or say as the lone super-powered survivor, the so-called “Samaritan” of the title, of a lifelong rivalry with his brother, “Nemesis.” Two brothers entered a fire-ravaged building and while both were presumed dead, one brother did survive (Stallone’s Joe Smith, a garbageman by day, an appliance repairman by night).

In the Granite City of screenwriter Bragi F. Schut (Escape Room, Season of the Witch), the United States, and presumably the rest of the world, teeters on economic and political collapse, with a recession spiraling into a depression, steady gigs difficult, if not impossible, to obtain, and the city’s neighborhoods rocked by crime and violence. No one’s safe, not even 13-year-old Sam (Javon Walker), Joe’s neighbor.

When he’s not dodging bullies connected to a gang, he’s falling under the undue influence of Cyrus (Pilou Asbæk), a low-rent gang leader with an outsized ego and the conviction that he and only he can take on Nemesis’s mantle and along with that mantle, a hammer “forged in hate,” to orchestrate a Bane-like plan to plunge the city into chaos and become a wealthy power-broker in the process.

Schut’s woefully underwritten script takes a clumsy, haphazard approach to world-building, relying on a two-minute animated sequence to open Samaritan while a naive, worshipful Sam narrates Samaritan and Nemesis’s supposedly tragic, Cain and Abel-inspired backstory. Schut and director Julius Avery (Overlord) clumsily attempt to contrast Sam’s childish belief in messiah-like, superheroic saviors stepping in to save humanity from itself and its own worst excesses, but following that path leads to authoritarianism and fascism (ideas better, more thoroughly explored in Watchmen and The Boys).

While Sam continues to think otherwise, Stallone’s superhero, 25 years past his last, fatal encounter with his presumably deceased brother, obviously believes superheroes are the problem and not the solution (a somewhat reasonable position), but as Samaritan tracks Joe and Sam’s friendship, Sam giving Joe the son he never had, Joe giving Sam the father he lost to street violence well before the film’s opening scene, it gets closer and closer to embracing, if not outright endorsing Sam’s power fantasies, right through a literally and figuratively explosive ending. Might, as always, wins regardless of how righteous or justified the underlying action.

It’s what superhero audiences want, apparently, and what Samaritan uncritically delivers via a woefully under-rendered finale involving not just unconvincing CGI fire effects, but a videogame cut-scene quality Stallone in a late-film flashback sequence that’s meant to be subversively revelatory, but will instead lead to unintentional laughter for anyone who’s managed to sit the entirety of Samaritan’s one-hour and 40-minute running time.

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Samaritan is now streaming worldwide on Prime Video.

Samaritan

Cast
  • Sylvester Stallone
  • Javon ‘Wanna’ Walton
  • Pilou Asbæk

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Matt Shakman Is In Talks To Direct ‘Fantastic Four’

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According to a new report, Wandavision’s Matt Shakman is in talks to direct the upcoming MCU project, Fantastic Four. Marvel Studios has been very hush-hush regarding Fantastic Four to the point where no official announcements have been made other than the film’s release date. No casting news or literally anything other than rumors has been released regarding the project. We know that Fantastic Four is slated for release on November 8th, 2024, and will be a part of Marvel’s Phase 6. There are also rumors that the cast of the new Fantastic Four will be announced at the D23 Expo on September 9th.

Fantastic Four is still over two years from release, and we assume we will hear more news about the project in the coming months. However, the idea of the Fantastic Four has already been introduced into the MCU. John Krasinski played Reed Richards aka Mr. Fantastic in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. The cameo was a huge deal for fans who have been waiting a long time for the Fantastic Four to enter the MCU. When Disney acquired Twenty Century Fox in 2019 we assumed that the Fox Marvel characters would eventually make their way into the MCU. It’s been 3 years and we already have had an X-Men and Fantastic Four cameo – even if they were from another universe.

Deadline is reporting that Wandavision’s Matt Shakman is in talks to direct Fantastic Four. Shakman served as the director for Wandavision and has had an extensive career. He directed two episodes of Game of Thrones and an episode of The Boys, and he had a long stint on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. There is nothing official yet, but Deadline’s sources say that Shakman is currently in talks for the job and things are headed in the right direction.

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To be honest, I was a bit more excited when Jon Watts was set to direct. I’m sure Shakman is a good director, but Watts proved he could handle a tentpole superhero film with Spider-Man: Homecoming. Wandavision was good, but Watts’ style would have been perfect for Fantastic Four. The film is probably one of the most anticipated films in Marvel’s upcoming slate films and they need to find the best person they can to direct. Is that Matt Shakman? It could be, but whoever takes the job must realize that Marvel has a lot riding on this movie. The other Fantastic Four films were awful and fans deserve better. Hopefully, Marvel knocks it out of the park as they usually do. You can see for yourself when Fantastic Four hits theaters on November 8th, 2024.

Film Synopsis: One of Marvel’s most iconic families makes it to the big screen: the Fantastic Four.

Source: Deadline

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Dan Aykroyd, Chevy Chase Star in ‘Zombie Town’ Mystery Teen Romancer (Exclusive)

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Dan Aykroyd and Chevy Chase have entered Zombie Town, a mystery teen romancer based on author R.L. Stine’s book of the same name.

The indie, now shooting in Ontario, also stars Henry Czerny and co-teen leads Marlon Kazadi and Madi Monroe. The ensemble cast includes Scott Thompson and Bruce McCulloch of the Canadian comedy show Kids in the Hall.

Canadian animator Peter Lepeniotis will direct Zombie Town. Stine’s kid’s book sees a quiet town upended when 12-year-old Mike and his friend, Karen, see a horror movie called Zombie Town and unexpectedly see the title characters leap off the screen and chase them through the theater.

Zombie Town will premiere in U.S. theaters before streaming on Hulu and then ABC Australia in 2023.

“We are delighted to bring the pages of R.L. Stine’s Zombie Town to the screen and equally thrilled to be working with such an exceptional cast and crew on this production. A three-time Nickelodeon Kids Choice Award winner with book sales of over $500 million, R.L. Stine has a phenomenal track record of crafting stories that engage and entertain audiences,” John Gillespie, Trimuse Entertainment founder and executive producer, said in a statement.

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Executive producers are Trimuse Entertainment, Toonz Media Group, Lookout Entertainment, Viva Pictures and Sons of Anarchy actor Kim Coates.  

Paco Alvarez and Mark Holdom of Trimuse negotiated the deal to acquire the rights to Stine’s Zombie Town book.

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